Snapping

 I hate myself when I snap to Caroline, it does not feel good. The guilt will last for days. During this pandemic, my patience has always been tested. I used to work part time and meet up with people regularly but because of the pandemic, life has turn to a 365 degree change. It was not easy and never easy. And hence I developed depression, a depression where I cannot relate to anyone because they will say you are crazy, or mental tidak kuat. 

So here is the thing...I have depression sebelum ada pandemic. Depression because people want me to be a perfect daughter...wife... and bla bla... non stop tuntutan (dlm bahasa bule...expectation)..till today people close to me are still doing that...selalu EXPECTATION...

Kalo ngaku depression di bilang lebay...cari perhatian...playing victim.

When I am at my lowest point of my life I always turn to God. Seeking forgiveness if I snap to my children and husband.

But dear Caroline, Mama always wants you to learn how to be more responsible about your life. You have been given the best thing in life from Papa and Mama. We never expect you to become a champion, but we expect you to do your best in everything. Tidak perlu jadi juara 1...tapi kamu sudah berusaha (do your best)

 

Sorry for Snapping and Love Mama