My friend called me just now..complaining on her husband who seems to care for the daughter more than herself.
Setiap pulang kerja, pertama yang dicari adalah anak nya...yang dicium anak nya juga...istri nya? suda dilupakan. Kalo weekend, ditanya mau kemana, suami nya pasti put the daughter's need first baru istri nya. Well pokoknya setelah punya anak, everything changed. Yang biasanya di prioritaskan ama suami, sekarang suda tidak lagi.
Personally, I feel sad hearing that sih...Pertama memang tidak ada salah nya untuk suami nya sayang bgt ama anak nya...THere is totally nothing wrong with that...tapi menurut gua...a couple should always put each other first baru anak nya. Ini bukan mengatakan sebagai orang tua harus egois kepada anak..NO! cuman beneran deh kalo misalnya as a husband and wife masi bisa put each other as a priority, ini akan ada impact yang cukup besar (impact yang bagus) kepada anak nya.
Anak nya bisa liat papa nya betapa sayang kepada mama nya..ini akan create a very loving family.
This goes the other way round too...Bayangin kalo punya istri yang selalu kalo mau ngapain2 anak terus...pasti suami bete juga kan...so i believe that there is nothing wrong of having to put ur partner first always before the children. Gua peracaya akan beda aja suasana rumah tangga nya. Akan lebih loving.
I also told my friend to go out with the husband for a special night weekend gitu dengerin lagu...or sebulan sekali weekend nginap di hotel ..spend the most romantic weekend with each other.. Who say that after getting married the romance will die away?? Of course tidak harus selalu ber-2 bisa juga ama teman2 dekat rame2 jalan2.
I guess no one can dictate how ur relationship will be...but it really depend on both people on how to make the romance in the relationship to continue on and on and on hehehehehe...
Easy example will be our parents. Sometimes I think the relationship between our moms and dads are so boring, jalan aja boro2 gandengan tangan...karena suda terbawa rutinitas hidup, and our parents don't believe in romance too...to them romance happens only in the movie...
Yah so good luck to all my friends who are married...hehehehhee pokoknya masalah boring itu tergantung gimana ngatur hidup kalian. Bila perlu nonton tuh all the great love romantic movie and learn from them. I guess it will really make a big difference. Yes..ur children are important...but ur partner is more impt ...Well i am not a love guru...but this is how I Feel a long-lasting love relationship should be.
2 comments:
i agree - i think you should put your spouse first. i read someone that kids feel safe and secure if they see their parents loving each other. i think it will be hard to put your spouse first when it seems like the kids need to be taken care of NOW, but unless its like, life-threatening or an emergency, you can show love to your spouse. its just about priorities. i'm learning to put Ken before my family and it feels weird, but getting married means i leave my family to start a new family with Ken. which means i will put him first.
Yes I totally agree with you. When you are married, everything else is secondray, your spouse will always be number 1. What i am saying is that of course children's need are important as well, but there are times when u know u need to put the spouse first.
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