Hunger; Hungry; Laperrr

They said breastfeeding always makes the mother feel hungry all the time; I totally agree. I never feel fully satisfied. Especially after pumping out all the milk, always leave me with the feeling of hungry yet tired too.

Another thing is my weight seems to keep going down. I know for some women this is a good news, shedding off all the post-pregnancy weight. Well, luckily for me, I did not have any problem in loosing any weight, as I did not gain much during pregnancy, and when the baby is out, I only have to shed 3kg more to my normal weight. Currently, I have another 1kg to go, however, the downside for me is whether I am totally healthy. I am drinking chicken essence every night, eating all the good food, yet the weight keep going down.

Is it because of the post-operation appendix? All the doctors said I am fine, but there are time I still feel the soreness in my stomach :( and I am hungry all the time!!!

I am a mom now :)

Sorry readers for not updating my blog. It’s not that I am too busy; it’s just that I am too lazy to type. So a quick update on my life. Now I am a mom to a 1 month 5 days Baby C! I still cannot believe that I am a mom now either, maybe because nothing has really change about myself after Baby C is being delivered. I am still who I am, and maybe because I am so used to taking care of my own family member, so when Baby C is finally here, I felt it’s my another big responsibility to make sure she feels safe, warmth and I promised myself I will bring her up to become humble, wise and kind person. About her being smart and successful, well I think that is God’s given, and I believe God loves Baby C J

For the past few weeks, I have been going through a lot with my own body. Starting from sudden announcement from Prof Chen that I have a weak placenta, which force me to have caesarean operation on my 38^th week and then a week after that I have an acute appendix which has burst, caused a very bad infection around my intestine, leaving the doctors with no choice but to do an immediate operation to cut the bad appendix and wash my intestine. After the major operation (it was 3 hours!!!) I have to go bed rest for almost 8 days with several tubes poking into my body (the tubing makes me suffer very badly).

Well at first I did not know how bad my body condition was, until my father-in-law explained to me that I almost lost my life. I really thank God for giving me another chance to live my life well. I cried every night in the hospital, because I was so worried that if I am really gone, what is going to happen to Baby C and A. I promised myself that I will be taking good care of my own body for the sake of my family, I can’t afford to loose them, and they can’t afford to loose me either.

Right now I am back to breastfeeding baby C after the absenting for 2 weeks because I was under heavy medication, and going back to breastfeeding makes me feel happier knowing that Baby C is eating well.

To me Baby C is a miracle gift from God. Even though she is born small (when she came out; she was only 2.236kg), but she is very strong baby. When she is hungry, she will cried out so loud that the whole house will go panicking. When she feels bored, she will talk to herself very loudly and makes everyone of us wonder what is she trying to say to us J The doctor calls her Chilli Padi, meaning small yet so strong.

She is still 1month 5 days old, and yet I feel the time flies by fast. I keep telling myself to enjoy every moment with her, as I don’t want to miss anything, and I know by the time she is a teen, I doubt Baby C will want her mommy to be with her all the time :p

what does it feels like

When the doctor told me that I will be giving birth anytime soon, my heart goes fluttered. Then he asked me do I know what I should be looking for..Water coming out, or patches of blood..or tummy-ache..my reaction to him was nothing but a blur face..and then he says.."well you will know it when the time comes.."

So when it is going to be? today? tomorrow? or now? What makes me nervous is that I don't know what i will expect, the experience that I will go through, what makes me look forward is to finally meet baby C. It's like telling myself finally I am meeting someone who is going to be the most precious, most protected..someone whom I am willing to sacrifice my life unconditionally..well words cannot describe that kind of feeling. Once she is here, everything is going to change. I will never be alone, Alvin can go and travel for work but I am not going to be alone anymore. There will always be her by my side :)

And everyone is actually looking forward to meet her too..my parents n in-laws are the most excited one, checking on me everyday, making sure I am all right..somehow the moms are hoping they will be here on time to witness the birth of baby C!!

I hope baby C don't come out too fast, well at least she should wait for Alvin to come this wednesday :D

Counting down

2 More days and I am leaving everything and everyone behind and get ready for delivery. Well I am glad that I chose to give birth in Singapore, even though it's very troublesome...but if I don't force myself to go far away to give birth, I would not have enough time for me and C. I have been feeling guilty that all these while I have been ignoring my pregnancy. C sometimes remind me though by giving me a kick here and there...and she always moves around just to let me know "hey mommy...get a rest!!"

So I will have at least a month to have a our mother-daughter time before she sees this world and everyone will want to be with her.

Erin is so excited of being a big sister...she has been talking to C almost every night, acting as if she is the nanny asking whether C is drinking her milk or she has taken her evening bath. I like it most when Erin will approach me while I am lying down and she will be stroking my tummy and asking everyone else to shut up...I think Erin is so ready to C soon!!

Two important people

These two most important people in my life has been looking forward to the arrival of Baby C. During my pregnancy period till now, they have been very supportive and has been reminding me on becoming a good mom to Baby C. I guess I will miss being a daddy's girl as he has two additional little princess in his life now.

Mom is also looking forward of having another granddaughter. She loves playing a grandma role to these little princess (coz she loves to dress them up with her style!)

Two more weeks I will be moving permanently to Singapore..not sure whether I am looking forward to that period, coz I have to leave so many things behind for a while. I am quite worried about leaving the house, A and many things...I am such a worrier..sigh :( Beside that I will miss out a lot of events too and friends

A has been talking Baby C almost every night...even though it's a very short conversation, I can see that he is looking forward to meet Baby C and he has tons of things to teach her (Sing and Dance is his fav activities for her :p )

A lot of things happens to the family this year. Good and Bad all come at once. But I feel glad that all these happen to the family, we all learn the importance of family values, building closer bond between siblings and parents. It's something money can't buy.

Insomania..

Urghh..it's back again. The "I can't sleep" habit is back again!!! I have been sleeping for 3 hours for the past 4 days, and I don't feel sleepy during the day though, but my eyes gets really tired and heavy, but I still can't sleep.

And I just realized I have 2 months left before C comes to this world. Time pass too fast, I have not really enjoy my pregnancy moment yet coz I was too busy with work and house. But think about it, I am glad this pregnancy period is going to be over soon. I want my sashimi and white wine back!!

I am a snail..

I feel like a snail. Constantly on the move to a new place.

We have settled down in Bandung...finally (last week)...even though there are still some minor work to be done. My nursery is totally 0% not done yet, and is not because of me who are not making any progress...I have started the nursery project 2 months earlier...but as I expected, people here work too slow. They promised you 2 weeks and it turn out to be a month or more.

(A lesson to learn : never custom made anything...buy things that are ready to be deliver)

Currently, our office is also undergoing major renovation, and we are forced to move to the new site by next week. Sigh...and by end of this year, our house in Karawaci will be done..and we have to move again from my parents current house.

Baby is coming along soon too. I am in my 3rd trimester..the last stage of the motherhood soon to be marathon!!!

However, I am counted to be very lucky. My sister-in-law is helping me on the nursery now....my best friend is helping to do some baby shopping too...my mom is helping me on the karawaci house...and my mother in law is helping me to settle in Bandung too...extra help is always appreciated :)

24-Hour is ain't enough

24 hours a day is not enough for me. Especially nowadays, when I have to go to the office and take half day off to do some shopping for the new house in Bandung, and then going for meetings with the architect and contractors for the new house in Karawaci...a day is never enough. Not forgetting that I have a husband to take care of too, however, most of the time I tend to forget that I am in my third trimester now. Well, the lucky thing about me is that my tummy is not that big, hence I am still acting like any other normal girl walking fast, climbing stairs, picking up things, running a few errands here and there, bending up and down...

Just did my check up too last week, the doctor said the baby is growing very healthy inside me, and myself is very fine even though I have a very busy daily life.

I still have tons of unfinished errands before July arrive. After that I have to move temporarily to Singapore, deliver baby and rest for a month. So I have to leave home for 3 months!

I wish Indonesia has a good medical facility and doctor so that I did not have to go Singapore to deliver. It's a bit troublesome though, but thinking about safety, I have no choice.

I wish for more than 24 hours a day now, so that I can get things done, apparently, this means I need to learn to organize my time wisely...

If I am not pregnant

If I am not pregnant...

1. I want fresh sashimi!!
2. Fresh oyster
3. A glass of cold white wine
4. Smoked Salmon for breakfast
5. Half boiled egg dipped with toasted bread
6. Wanna go to SF and stop by Sixflag and play all the rides
7. I want to shop for new clothes.
8. Wear heels
9. Carry around my niece
10. Will have more energy to do more things at the same time

Well, I surely miss a lot of things, but I feel time passes by so quick and hope that I am still in my first trimester (minus off the throwing part).

Ever since I am married, I realized that I seldom have time for myself. It's all about the two house, pregnancy, and a bits of work. More responsibility, but I am enjoying my time as a wife, working woman and mom-to-be...and I am thankful that my parents at least understand my situation now and my mom has been helping me a lot in building the new house and dad has taken off some of my work responsibility off my shoulder for now. Of course, I hope I will be back active working in BT and at the same time enjoying motherhood and wifehood.

Soon...

Soon, our house in Bandung will be done. A lot of final touch need to be done, and both of us are so looking forward to move in asap, and we are planning to held a small cocktail party for our close friends and family. I should have given all the credit of this house to Alvin as he is the one who has been planning and designing the whole house making sure it is ready on time (however the whole project got delayed for 3 months++ due to suppliers' not being able to supply the materials on time).

On the other hand, I am focusing on designing our baby's nursery. Hopefully we will stick to our budget and making sure the whole room is going to be comfortable for C.

I hope that I will be able to settle down before my birthday, coz I have to fly to Singapore on early July to get enough rest in Singapore before welcoming C to our home. My parents and in-laws are already counting down the days...but truthfully, time passed so fast that sometimes I forget that I was pregnant, maybe because I was too active in my daily life.

I hope everything will go smoothly during and after the delivery. I just wish C is going to be a healthy little one...her first day in my tummy has already brought me and Alvin a lot of joy. And I am very excited for Erin too...she is going to the big sister in the family soon. And she is looking forward to see C as she has been rubbing on my tummy and taught her how to sing already!! How cute :)

Eating well :)

Ever since my mom knows the gender of the baby, she has been diligently making me fresh soya milk. Yes..it is fresh and homemade. She rather not buy from the supermarket even though it is more convenient. And of course the taste is so much better than those sold outside. It is neither too sweet or too bland. I can really taste the soya and the best thing is it's always warm.

If I am at my in-laws house, I get the same treatment too hehehehhe..well lucky me, my in-laws love me very much. So does my sister-in-law. My MIL always get me a fresh coconut everyday from the wet market and have been feeding with a lot of fruits. Since she knows I like mango, she always try to get the best mango in town, or sometimes she even has to go down to the orchard at her sister's house just to get mangoes.

Thanks to both mom..I have been eating very well ever since I am pregnant. They never let me go hungry and keep feeding me with all the healthy stuff. I guess because of them, I never have any unhealthy cravings. I never asked for late night snacks either. This is why my doctor told me I am gaining healthy weight. No going to be overweight nor underweight and the baby is growing at the right pace :)

4 months to go

4 months to go before I enter motherhood...I did not realized that time will pass by this fast! I did not have the chance to blog as often as last time because I did not have internet access all the time in Bandung and also has been busying with a lot of things in the house. I just hope that I can get all the renovations for both house done ASAP, and focus on my pregnancy and family.

And I have been neglecting work too, but I guess this the time I need to learn to let go of my role as a career woman and try to focus more on the husband n household. Som/;;etimes, I still carry this guilty feeling when I am in Bandung, while the others are working hard in BT :(

So far I have not prepare anything for my deliveries yet. There are time I feel lost, not knowing where to start. Sometimes, I even forget I am pregnant (because I have a small bump). People may not even take notice that I am pregnant!!

I am also quite anxious too as I have opted for normal delivery. As a first time mother, I have so many questions that I don't think answers from other mothers will satisfy me, as I have to go through it myself to be able to understand everything.

I guess everything takes time.

I am happy enough

So after the big tragedy in Japan, have we come to our senses yet? I did, well not the first time, but God kept reminding me learn to appreciate your family members, stop thinking of what can I do to make myself happy and ignore what others say and think.

Last month, A and I was still planning where to go for a quick short trip before we step in to parenthood. We have decided to go Tokyo for 5 days. But after the big Japan earthquake, we decided not to go anywhere. Why should we go for a short trip when staying near our family members alone can make us happy? Will going to Japan make us happier? I told A I would rather stay home and spend more time planning for the nursery room. That will make me happier.

Even now, without having to go abroad, I am happy enough. Staying in Bandung, accompanying my MIL to her shop, then to Alvin's grandma and meet A's aunt and cousins, I am happy already.

Going back to Jakarta and spend a week at my parent's and have Erin to accompany make me feel happy too. Having to sit down and eat dinner everyday with my family is the most wonderful thing for me. So I guess why do I have to make myself worry "where to go for a quick short break"

I want to Complain...

A few things that I want to say out:

• I think Soekarno-Hatta has to be removed totally from this earth. It's not even worth to be call International Airport. So ashamed that Indonesia has been awarded to be the host for ASEAN this year, yet we have a slumpy Airport. Shame on...well whoever is leading the country now.
• I hate Singapore taxi driver. I wonder how they can pass their driving test when they don't even know how to drive properly. What is worse is they like to go round and round so they can charge me extra S$3!!
• I can't find a good noodle restaurant in Singapore or Indonesia. Mom's Ya Mien is so far still the best! Anyone can recommend me??
• I hate my kitchen contractor. Always pushing me to pay when he has not done his part yet!
• I hate my current and soon to be ex driver. You have no sense of responsibility towards your work. And stop using your wife or children as an excuses for your plain laziness. Liar! Well lucky me...husband's driver who has been around him for more than 10 years has decided to follow us.
• Hate the fact that Airline nowadays are serving bad foods. If they have no intention to serve economy passanger food, then don't throw rubbish into our plate. Might as well don't serve and you can reduce our airticket.
• I hate the fact that the internet provider at my parent's house insisted that we have wi-fi at home..but the wi-fi did not work because the internet in Indonesia is bad. He told us to stop comparing with Singapore service. Well..then don't sell wi-fi package to us!!! Stop tricking the consumers!
• I hate pple calling in the middle of the day to offer credit card or fast loan! When I politely declined, they pest me with questions...and force me to hang up on them! Where is the ethics nowadays??

Argghhh...I hate complaining..

Cheezzzeeee

So this pregnant thing got me weird. I never like cheese. But ever since I was pregnant, I like cheese so much. Well it is a good thing that I don't reject cheese because I am not drinking milk and eating cheese is helping me to boost up my calcium intake.

I have been eating my bread with Kraft Cheese, eat my pasta with grated cheese and now here in the middle of the night while writing my short blog...I am eating a small good looking cheesecake that I have bought from Marquies Cheesecake from a Japanese confectionary. This is very unusual because I never eat late-night snack, and I don't eat dessert after dinner. So I guess this is what they say CRAVING.

Am I feeling guilty? Nope...I am enjoying every bite of it .....nyummmmmmm :)

Never Easy for both of us

Being a full-time housewife and yet having to commit myself to work too, commuting between Bandung and Jakarta, leaving husband and in-laws for more than a week has never been easy for me nor my husband. We know it's just a temporary parting, but each time, it was not easy. I have to fight with my own inner guilty feelings.

A friend of mine has been telling me that i should find balance..well actually my barometer should go heavier on my husband and family, otherwise what is the purpose of getting married. I totally agree with her.

Both sides have to make sacrifices, I don't mind if I have to be the one to make the first step.

But, well the husband make the first move. He decided to move to Jakarta so that I can still work and yet be a full time wife n mom. And I know it is not an easy decision for him. And my in-laws are so supportive too of the decision we have made.

And so I hope I will learn to find a good balance for my family and work too. Of course, (well I don't make any promise as this is not an obligation) I will prioritize and give up anything as long as I can have enough time for my husband and children :)

So in May, husband and I will have to move ourselves again. It is tiring to keep on moving, but currently we are both working hard trying to figure out what is best for both of us and the children in the future. And if we are going to stay in Jakarta permanently, I told my mother-in-law that she has nothing to worry about because i enjoy my time in Bandung all these while with her and father -in-law and Boci (alvin's sister), and will always travel to Bandung to visit her.

So in conclusion : we will still be always commuting between Bandung and Jakarta. Has never been easy, but because we are slowly getting used to it and we have the people we loved so much at both cities, that at least make my traveling and packing easier and enjoyable :)

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2011

Have always been looking forward to Chinese New Year :) Even though this year I will be in Bandung spending the New Year with husband's family, my in-laws are doing so much for me so that I will not be homesick. The house is already filled with baskets of fruits and cakes ( I wonder how are we going to finish all these)

My family will be spending theirs in Singapore..well it's a bit sad though that I will not be able to join them this year..

So this year will be the Rabbit year ...the year for me and Alvin. We will be having our own little rabbit this coming Aug.. :) :) :)

So for this new year...my hope is that we will have our own small little happy family..everyone will be healthy always..husband career to be better than last year..and and hopefully we all can get through this year peacefully.

It has never been easy

This pregnancy journey has never been easy for me, as I feel that all my energy and mind are being too focus on it. There are times when I feel frustrated and sad because I feel sick almost everyday, till it comes to a point where I don't feel like a pregnant lady, but more like a sick person.

I can only relate all these to my close friend - Junie. She has go through the same thing with me, and for her it was even worse. She has been feeling bad for the whole 9 months.

When I feel frustrated, she told me that it was not only me who is feeling uneasy, the little rabbit is not feeling comfortable either inside my tummy, hence I should stay stronger..sigh now I feel guilty for little rabbit.

In the upcoming weeks and months, my life is going to be busier. We are not sure when the house is going to get ready. We have confirmed that we will be settling down in Jakarta but the house in Jakarta will not be ready before October...I can't do much shopping either because I am still staying with my parents in Jakarta!!!!

However, I kept reminding myself each day that I am still blessed that our parents from both of us has been so supportive and give us the best thing. That is why we ended up with 2 houses :)

Craving

When I got pregnant, I was so afraid that I got cravings for food that is out from my reach. And today I got that. Suddenly, I was craving for baby carrots, Celery sticks with hummus dipping. I knew there is no such food here or in Singapore. The only place that has these kind of food is in the US. And it is so easily available there in any supermarket.

Sigh...guess I can only enjoy it visually :(

All I want is

All I want to do is sleep and sleep and sleep..Night has become my fav time of the day. And sleeping has become my most precious activity. They said the baby has begun taking my vitamins, and that is what makes me feel so tired and sleepy all the time. I wonder what it will be like when the baby inside me gets bigger?

Oh well...I just want to sleep..

Night readers